A divorce is a complicated issue for adults, but it can be even more complicated for the children who are impacted by it. One way that parents can make the entire situation easier for children is to ensure that everything that happens is centered on the children’s well being.
A child-centered divorce isn’t necessarily the easiest option for the parents. If the adults can make this arrangement work, they will likely find that the children are the ones who benefit greatly from it. Here are some points to remember about a child-centered divorce:
You have to make a plan
One of the biggest questions that you will have to answer during a child-centered divorce is whether one parent is going to leave the marital home or if both parents will remain in the home and live as roommates. This isn’t something that is easy to decide.
Children might be able to adjust better to the news of the divorce if they aren’t confronted with the divorce and learning that a parent is moving out all at the same time. Both parents remaining in the home might ease the transition that the children have to deal with, but only if this is done properly.
Keep a check on communication
You and your ex will still have to work through some matters related to the divorce. It is a good idea to plan these discussions for a time when the children aren’t present. In an ideal child-centered divorce arrangement, the children will never see the adults argue. If matters do get heated, it is usually best to leave them alone until both parents have a chance to calm down.
Children who are watching adults interact after a divorce can learn a lot about being an adult and proper communication. Make sure that you are modeling what they need to learn. Even if you and your ex are having issues, you should still treat each other with respect and maintain a calm voice. The cold shoulder or acting out can work against your desire to do what is best for your children.
Let the children know what’s going on in an appropriate manner
As the child-centered divorce marches on, the situation will likely change. Ultimately, one parent is likely going to move out of the home. Working with the children to prepare them for this is beneficial. The parent who is moving out might take the children to help pick out a house or apartment. This helps them to maintain some sort of control over their life, which can ease the adjustment.