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Can your child decide which parent to live with?

On Behalf of | Oct 17, 2024 | Child Custody, Divorce, Family Law

One of the most frequently asked questions from parents going through divorce is whether their child can choose which parent they want to live with. While there is no one-word answer to this question, generally, a child cannot unilaterally decide they want to live with a specific parent.

Who decides where the child lives?

In Georgia specifically, while there is no magical age at which a child can decide who they want to live with, the court can consider the child’s preference, especially if the child is 14 or older.

Courts focus on the best interests of the child. Yet, teenagers can express themselves at a certain age and tell the judge how they feel and why. This does not guarantee that the court will grant the child’s request.

Best interests of the child

When determining custody matters, judges consider several factors, including:

  • The child’s relationship with their parents
  • The child’s emotional and physical needs
  • Each parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs
  • The stability each parent provides
  • The child’s home environment, and more.

If the child is vocal and wants to state a preference in court, the judge will likely want to hear it and, in some cases, have a conversation with the child to better understand the reasoning behind the request.

However, judges do not automatically do what the child requests because courts understand the children may choose one parent over the other for various reasons, some of which are inconsistent with their best interests.

In some cases, teenagers strongly prefer the parent who is busier, less hands-on and likely to give the child more freedom and permission to do the things they want to do. If the court suspects that is the case, the child’s preference will have less weight.

Regardless of what your child expresses, it is critical to encourage open and honest communication and to let your child know that they will not be punished for expressing their thoughts and feelings, even if they do not ultimately get their way.

Ultimately, unless the spouses agree on a custody arrangement before asking the judge to decide, the court will choose carefully, and parents should work together to create a supportive environment for their child during this difficult time.